A lonely girl, A lonely world

I've hurt my 9 years best friend. I'm just useless. Sorry. Forgiving me it's hard, I know. Just want to wish you good luck. I'm speechless. Now, everyone is on your side.. I've got no best friends anymore. I don't mind. I'm wrong from the start. You are right, I won't listen to what everyone say to me. I did not drag him there, I swear. Just blame me, don't blame yourself. Blame me for everything I've hide from you. Hate me all you want! HATE ME.

I'm just stupid. I don't know how to find out secrets thats why sometimes I'm cheated by people. Because noone want to help me. Everyone help you. I don't have the perfection, but you have. I'm not jealous. Maybe I'm out of my mind now. Look, I know he is more important. I understand thats why you rushed to him and scold him. You don't even wanna talk to me. I'm okay, just a little pissed off. From that moment, I know I'm no longer important to you.

Even if you're okay with him. I don't know how to face you. It's embarrassing. I know you for so long but I've hurt you so badly. If you are being in this position, you don't know how fucking guilty you are. You know me well. Only you would cheer me up. Now, I don't know what am I suppose to do. Feels like I'm lost in the jungle. Noone there to help me, noone there for me. My wrong for not telling you anything.

It's all my fucking fault.

I'm sincerely sorry, Lim Chin Lee.

Biarkan ku mengerti,

Biarkan ku sedari,

Keadaanku yang memujamu.

- boon mun *